Not Just A Game
by AcrossAStarSweptSky
Summary: "You don't know what it like." She said. The smile was wiped from Caeser's face. "You won't ever know what it's like, until you go out there yourself. You won't know what it's like until you have someone die in front of you and you take someone's life."


"And we are back with Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mallark, winners, and yes that is with a plural, of the 74th annual Hunger Games!" Caesar Flickerman announced to the cheering audience.

He smiled a bright smile and gesture to the teens on the red loveseat. "It has been one full month since these two star crossed lovers found themselves fighting to say alive and more importantly together in the game. So tell me, Peeta what is it like being home to your family and having the lovely Katniss with you?"

Things had been strained since the events following the end of the game, for Peeta and Katniss. Katniss still had not come to terms with the growing feelings she had for Peeta. He was still distant after the knowledge of her lying to him about her feelings came out.

They still had to put on happy smiles with each other, assuring the world, more importantly the Capitol, that they were just as in love with each other as they had seemed in the game.

Which is why, Katniss was currently sitting on Peeta's lap, with his arms protectively around her. He was absently drawing patterns on her uncovered thigh. He smiled and tightened his hold on her as he answered.

"Words can't express the… happiness… the joy I feel when I see my family and Katniss. She is everything to me and I just can't find words that could say how much relief I feel in having them both." This of course, was not a complete lie.

"And you Katniss? You proved how much you loved him, when you willingly walked into a brutal battle field that contained the only hope of saving Peeta after his fight with other tributes. And you were nearly killed doing it." Caesar showed a clip of the fight between Clove and Katniss.

Peeta winced as he watched Clove throw the knife that cut Katniss's face.

"How does it feel to know that you saved him, and you are able to see your mother and your sister, who you volunteered to go in the place of after she was picked at the Reaping?"

_Be yourself. _Katniss thought before answering, "It feels good."

The response gained a laugh from the audience and Caesar. She smiled and continued, "I'm not as pretty with words as Peeta is. Which is one of the things I love about him, but I can honestly say that it feels so good to have everything you love here with me."

Caesar nodded and moved on. "How do you think your mental stability was throughout the game? I mean all in all, you both were pretty calm throughout the game. I've watched about 50 games, so I know what it feels like to be apart of it."

The controlled smile on Katniss's face slipped off. She stiffened and felt Peeta freeze underneath her. They both were silent for a few seconds before Katniss shook her head.

"You _don't _know what it like." She said. The smile was wiped from Caeser's face. "You won't ever know what it's like, until you go out there yourself. You won't know what it's like until you have someone die in front of you and you take someone's life."

She thought of Rue and the boy who killed her.

She looked down, "I mean you no disrespect Caesar. You have been very kind to all of us and I'm so grateful for that. But you just have no idea what being in the games do to you."

Peeta nodded in agreement, before resuming his soothing patterns on Katniss's leg.

Caesar was stunned. He stammered for a minute before regaining his composure, "Then tell me Katniss, what is it like to be a tribute?"

Katniss was silent. Peeta grabbed her hand and squeezed it. This was the first for of genuine support she had gotten out of him in weeks. She smiled sadly.

"This is just a game for you." She gestured to the screen showing clips of the game. She then pointed to her and Peeta, "This is just an interview. Just a few teens who survived a death sentence. You've done hundreds of them. You have talked to hundreds of kids who you then watched be brutally killed in front of you."

The audience was completely silent.

She thought back to Rue and the others who died. She had a hand in a few of their deaths. "I watched a little girl die. She was only twelve. She died in my arms." Tears formed in her eyes. "I caused the death of three people. One I shot an arrow through. I don't even know all of their names."

"Katniss, be careful." Peeta whispered. She leant back into him.

"This game changes you." Katniss knew she was on thin ice with what she had been saying. But she continued on, "If I hear a twig snap behind me, I immediately go into fight mode. I can't go to sleep at night, because I don't want to wake up and find myself back in a tree or a cave somewhere, fighting for my life."

She takes a deep breath. "When someone hugs me, I stiffen and wait for the knife in my back. There is only one person who knows what I'm feeling right now. Who understands how hard it is. Who I trust completely to hug and kiss and have my guard off with."

She glanced back around to Peeta and said with complete honesty, "You don't know how much that means to me."

In response he kissed her shoulder. "The point is, no one knows how we feel until you are out there, fighting for your lives."

The room was so quiet, you could here a pin drop. After a moment, one person began to clap, followed by another, and another, until the whole room was bursting with cheers and loud clapping. Caesar sat slackened in disbelief against the back of his chair before he too began clapping.

The clapping went of for several minutes before he eventually announced the end of time.

Both Peeta and Katniss walked offstage and were immediately intercepted by Effie and Haymitch.

"Are you crazy?"

"That was the most idiotic thing you could have done! The Capitol will be out for blood!"

"Do you have a death wish?"

Both, Effie and Haymitch were yelling.

"It needed to be said." Katniss stated quietly.

"For Rue. And Thresh. And all of the other tributes who died." Peeta agreed.

Haymitch paused and chuckled. He took out his flask and drunk from it.

"Well kid, you said it well."


End file.
